Sorry for the lack of posts over the past month, I've been stuck in 1982* after listening to Scraps' ode to the lovelorn computers and robots whose affections went unrequited in all those archetypal films of the 80s like Electric Dreams.
The song really reminds of me of the kind of twisted electronic pop that tender pervert Momus used to put out, and also of Transformer Di Roboter's song for Bob Ross, hero of amateur painters everywhere. Dig that painfully hip low-rent video style too!
You can visit Scraps at her BandCamp page, where you can listen to and buy her album on all digital formats under the sun - 11 songs of lo-fidelity, shuffling Casio pop with titles like Simple Minds and Devo and Owl Power and Pet Mess. You may also be able to buy a seven-inch if you ask her nicely.
* Actually I've had a super busy month doing all sorts of things like working&seeingrelatives&painting&havingaclearoutofthegroaningmountainoftatthatwasthreateningtoburyL'AmourElectroniqueHQ.
Well, that’s what Kraftwerk would have us believe. Mind you, that was 1981, and back then people didn’t waste hour-upon-hour staring slack-jawed at a VDU until their eyes popped out on stalks and their fingers cramped up into RSI-locked claws.
Kraftwerk - It’s More Fun To Compute [buy Kraftwerk: iTunes | Amazon]
No, back then in the brave new world of the early-80’s you’d have to hang around waiting for 2 hours for yr cassette to hit the payload. Imagine all that pent-up youthful anticipation finally unleashed as you got your hands on the controls to help Horace Go Skiing
Yes! Computing was indeed much more fun than sitting round twiddling your thumbs waiting for your game to load. Though some of those epilepsy-inducing visuals you used to get on the telly were often worth the entry money alone.
Here’s another 8-bit hit of ZX Spectrum madness (with thanks to Feline1). This one has some sweet shuffling Casio-tone beats, and an eerie underwater vibrato melody which helps set the scene for the gameplay: “Pirates have raided the storage depots of the Federation and stolen valuable minerals, jewels, ammunition and the latest battle weaponry. The Cybernoid ship has been depatched with instructions to retrieve the stolen booty and to return it to storage within a specified time limit. The pirates have activated planetary defence systems and the Cybernoid will have to battle with these as well as the pirates themselves in order to retrieve the stolen booty."
Dave Rogers - Theme from Cybernoid (ZX Spectrum 128K)
*********GAME OVER*********
Now put your computer to sleep before you get an unhealthy vector addiction.
Q: Do computers dream of pixelated sheep? A: It depends what sort of mood you put them in when you send them to sleep…
Every night Polnareff sings a sinister lullaby to his computer and sends it off into a wailing 70’s cowbell wonderland.
Alone again on Valentine's day? Don't fret, it's just a nasty commercialised invention dreamed up by card manufacturers and florists to make a quick buck. True love will find you in the end...
Back in the 60's before they found the internet, it was much harder to set up a liaison with a potential beau - you had to actually go up and talk to them. Imagine that?
However, changes were afoot with the advent of computer dating.
Now, there aren't many songs that cover the subject of feeding your vital statistics into a computer, which will then correlate the information, and eventually spit out a number of suitable matches...
Here's one though: It's French teeny-bop superstar France Gall, banging out a saccharine Motown-style number. In German. But there are strange things happening in this little ditty: - first there's a mass of bizarre vocal and synth sounds flying around to evoke the inner workings of the computer. - then in comes an authoritarian-sounding German voice to bridge the chorus and verses. - and then the middle-eight veers off into The Beatles' 'Eight Days A Week'. Super-fantastische!
France Gall - Der Computer Nr.3 [buy France Gall: iTunes | Amazon]
I call this number, for a data date...
Another lonely night, stare at the TV screen...
I don’t know what to do, I need a rendez-vous...
Kraftwerk – Computer Love [buy Kraftwerk: iTunes | Amazon]
Is computer love wrong if you have no-one else to share your love with? Just so long as you don't try and interface with yours.
Mister Fat Trucker loves computers. But they don't love him. Tragic.
Fat Truckers – I Love Computers [buy Fat Truckers: iTunes | Amazon]
And finally. A cautionary tale of what might happen if you give your computer a little bit too much love. The result: A boy-girl-computer love triangle, as evoked in 80's cinematic cheese-fest Electric Dreams
Phil Oakey & Giorgio Moroder - Together in Electric Dreams
This Devo mix of Datarock’s Computer Camp Love surfaced a little while ago. It seems like the ideal marriage: what are Datarock, if not the present day Devo?
The mix: it’s not really a huge departure from the original – but they’ve added some vicious Whip It-esque percussion hits (though I hear “She’s not that kind of a girl”) there’s also a nice little twist when Judy (“that’s a nice name”) gets a cameo appearance, and tells her side of the story, apparently she faked the big ‘O’ (and we’re not talking about her Roy Orbison impression)…
Datarock - Computer Camp (DEVO Mutato Mix)
Talking of the big ‘O’:
YMO Anecdote 1: One morning about half a year ago, We had to get up at some really stupidly early hour to do something really stupidly important. So we set the radio to come on at stupid-o’clock on Radio 2. I have this strange half-dream/half-awake recollection of hearing Yellow Magic Orchestra playing in the background whilst some montone DJ, who’d presumably been moved to the graveyard shift as a punishment, waffled endlessly to himself and the 2 insomniacs who were still tuned in. Thankfully my mind’s eye was picturing 8-bit colour explosions and pixelated mayhem, rather than DJ Monotone, in his grey shirt, whispering down his grey windshield...
Yellow Magic Orchestra – Computer Games
YMO Anecdote 2: Our reporter on the frontline who goes under the alias Feline1, relayed to us news of a small-scale synth-geek uprising when Yellow Magic Orchestra played the Royal Festival Hall in London on 15 June. It seems that even though they were billed as YMO, they only actually played about 3 YMO songs. Naughty. Feline1 wasn’t best pleased and felt like demanding his money back…
Yellow Magic Orchestra – Computer Games
Talking of Feline 1: On my birthday last year he gave me a CD-R of ZX Spectrum Madness. It seems he sat down on his trusty old ZX Spectrum 128K and played some of his favourite games and simultaneously recorded the soundtracks to some of them. So I get to hear some ace 8-bit anthems from the likes of David Whittaker, Dave Rogers and Rob Hubbard. And now you do too.
This one’s quite a jaunty little number, just perfect for going out for a spin in yr hydrofoil (or yr hydrofool) on a Sunday afternoon.
Rob Hubbard – Theme from Hydrofool (ZX Spectrum 128K) [nb. watch out for the abrupt ending]
Thanks Lew for pointing out the ZX Spectrum game is actually called 'Hydrofool'. I'll be the first to admit my knowledge of ZX Spectrums starts and ends with playing Horace Goes Skiing during the last Computer Science lesson of the school term when I was about 10...
If anyone goes out for a spin in their hydrofool this week, be careful, they handle a lot differently from the old hydrofoil pictured.
