Earlier this week NASA celebrated the 40th anniversary of putting some good wholesome American men on the moon. It was one giant leap for mankind, and one great big Nerr-Nerrr-Ner-Nerrrr-Nurrrrr to the Russians who had, until now, been lapping the USA in the great space race.
But no one spared a thought for the lonely cosmonaut, sitting in his rocket, orbiting the moon, watching the live footage on his miniature control panel. He thinks of his girlfriend down there on earth, as he whistles a forlorn little ditty into his Soviet-issue tape recorder…
Sometime in the early-90’s, a Berlin flea-market trader flogs a batch of old Soviet reel-to-reel tapes to Brezel Göring, he uncovers the crackly long-wave radio noise-laden humming of the love-sick cosmonaut, and Françoise Cactus pens an ode to all the long-lost space-men drifting out there in the cosmos.
As the NASA moonwalk transmission came to a close, and the end credits rolled, a celestial melody of early electronic music wafted gently from the speakers. The French had hi-jacked the broadcast a little late in the day, but the spotlit-Moog majesty of this song lingered like the grainy shot of the Stars and Stripes flapping gently in the lunar wind.
In part 1 we introduced you to a few of the hairy little beasties that make us come over all squeamish. Our French dictionary interprets creepy crawlies as bestioles, though I am rather taken with Terrifiante Rampante which is the answer a free translation website just fed back to me.
Last time, Polnareff declared himself King of the Ants, then had a change of heart and turned himself into a fly. Well we have some news for you Monsieur Polnareff, here comes Mister Tovey to usurp petit Michel. Frank Tovey aka Fad Gadget, beating his chest and beating his wings, preying on spiders, dive bombing colonies of ants, heading up his filthy cloud of evil, beady-eyed flies.
Fad Gadget – King of the Flies [buy Fad Gadget: iTunes | Mute Bank]
But what’s that looming out of the blood red sky? Huge clanking metal wings, glassy eyes and hydraulic legs. The Magic Fly has timewarped out of the Space disco seventies to do battle with the King of the Flies, rockets firing up, it blasts straight into the vast black humming cloud. A million insects pelt and buzz the lumbering iron thorax, swarming the mirrored eyes turning them to an iridescent shimmering black. Lasers fry hairy little legs and singe tiny translucent wings – it’s raining flies, run for cover!
Are you itching and scratching yet? Did you know, if a flea were scaled up to human size it would be able to jump over the Eiffel tower? That’s a scientific fact, apparently, and it’s also a topical fact for this here blog too [bonus points for yr scribe]. Back to regular sized fleas now:“Here come the fleas, they’re at your knees…” Yep, the circus is in town.
Ladies and Gentlemen! Marvel as they perform their feats and tricks to a White Noise electronic sound storm created by David Vorhaus, Delia Derbyshire and Brian Hodgson
White Noise – Here Come The Fleas [buy White Noise: iTunes | Amazon]
Back in 1967, the Kingsley’s beloved family dog was quarantined with a nasty infestation of the Spanish flea variety. Gershon Kingsley called upon his erstwhile collaborator Jean-Jacques Perrrey, and together they zapped those lice with a few volts of the old pioneering Moog-tronica. Those fleas they danced an urgent samba and fled the retriever’s shaggy coat. ((( BOING BOIIIINNNNG BOIIIIIINGGGGGG )))
You know, once you get les puces, they spread all over the house – in the carpet, in your bed, sucking your blood when you’re fast asleep. Tomorrow you’ll wake up feeling like you slept in a Parisian flea-pit, and you’ll be itching like mad.
Les Puces – Demain [if anyone can find a copy of 'Girl Group Power- Histoires De Filles: Quebec 60's Go-Go Music', please let me know!]
That’s all for now, night-night children, don’t let the bed bugs bite.
Everyone out there’s ranting on about James Bond double-o seven… Now we have no idea what a Quantum of Solace is, and we couldn’t really give a flying Nick Nack.
Let’s go back to a time when Bond themes were good, and when CGI wasn’t relied upon as a valid plot-replacement device: It’s 1969, Jean-Jacques Perrey unleashes The Amazing New Electronic Pop Sound of Jean-Jacques Perrey. Track 7 is his very own Moog-ed up homage to Her Majesty’s number 7 spy - a poignant, understated little ditty, which probably wasn’t even considered for official Bond-theme material because its composer was French!
Jean-Jacques Perrey – Mister James Bond
[Space Age Pop has a nice little biog of Perrey including links to get hold of his albums.]
Rewind three years: At the height of her fame, Petula Clark must have been itching to get her voice ‘round a Bond theme. But Mister Barry snubbed her, so she penned her own, complete with comedy dying sound effects.
Petula Clark – L’Agent Secret
[Dans Mon Café posted this song in January 07. It’s all gone quiet over there at the moment, and I imagine the mp3 link is long-dead now. However, a helpful reader left a comment with the lyrics in English and French, so you can see all the ways those secret agents died, and how to be the best!]
Here's something every spy should carry in their briefcase:
But there are other spies too y’know…
Plastics will tell you all about the most elusive spy ever to operate out of Tokyo:
Plastics – Top Secret Man
[I love Plastics, they’re like Japan’s answer to Devo and The B-52s. If anyone out there knows where I can hear more Plastics, please write in.]
[I much prefer this earlier jerkier garage-version featured in the short film In the Beginning Was The End: The Truth About De-evolution. Things to look out for: Booji Boy’s wayward hand-jiving; 2 ape-masked men paddling the behind of a strange looking china-doll lady; the monkey-masked man that goes “SE-CRET!”; and the home-made electronic drums that look like car hub-caps. One thing to ignore: the idiot who introduces the video]
