THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

Miss Black glides down the street to an internal Hammer Horror soundtrack, she stops to check her hair and make-up in the vast windows of Top Shop – a blood-curdling scream… there is no reflection… just a vacant day-glo mannequin gazing back… the Hammer Horror organ music spills out into the high street, and Miss Black takes flight…

Ladytron – Miss Black

Quick! Hide! It’s Darren Spooner - skeletal-thin and dirty-faced. He’s been at the grease-paint again, and he’s wielding a bull-whip with dastardly intent… WHIP-CRAAAAAACKKKK - the werewolf howls and a menacing electro-glitter-beat kicks in.

Mother nature’s beasts gather and circle: eager to please and hungry for blood… For he is the Beastmaster…

Relaxed Muscle – Beastmaster

Groping around in the darkness, your heart races. A howling gale has just blown up, the unmistakable CREEEEEEEAAKKKKKK of a coffin lid sends a shiver down your spine…

[Rod explanation below – thanks to Go Faster for the funny pic]

The Moontrekkers – Night of The Vampire

[this was famously banned by the BBC as being “unsuitable for people of a nervous disposition”. Joe Meek throws down a spine-chilling tape collage and The Moontrekkers stomp out a surf-guitar & Clavioline-fuelled nightmare. Real horror-show!]

[And now an explanation about the Rod Stewart picture: A little known group called The Raiders arrived at Joe Meek’s studio for an audition. Joe was enjoying the noise until their vocalist, a young Rod Stewart, opened his mouth. Joe stood with his fingers in his ears going LA-LA-LA until Rod stopped, and was promptly dismissed. Meek signed the band and they became his house band from then on. Conclusion: even Joe Meek who was famously tone-deaf couldn’t bear the sound of Rod’s gravelly tones]

Eeeeeeek! This one really gives me the heebee-geebies. It’s the bit where he starts sounding like an evil demented muppet talking to itself “do you know the beast who discovered the internal calculus?” Scary…

Evariste - Connais-Tu I'animal Qui Inventa Le Calcul Integral


[there’s a French wikipedia entry on Evariste, and not much else - here’s a rather poor Google English translation (click the link to Joel Sternheimer - his real name). It seems Evariste had a PhD in theoretical physics, but decided he wanted to make frightening psychedelic records to scare the be-jeezus out of folks like you and me.]

In need of a little light relief after Evariste brought the heavies ‘round? How about Future Bible Heroes’ ode to the joys of being a vampire:

“I survived for 700 years and I still look seventeen”… hmmm, me thinks they may be exaggerating a teeny bit.

Future Bible Heroes – I’m A Vampire





[psssst! Spiked Candy made a trick or treat post last Hallowe’en, and it seems there are still a few mp3 links working including Stella’s wordily titled ‘Si vous connaissez quelque-chose de pire qu'un vampire, parlez m'en toujours, ça pourra peut-être me faire sourire’ (translation: ‘If you know of something worse than a vampire, tell me, it will make me smile’).  Spiked Candy has been VERY quiet for a while now, we hope she comes back soon]

Dam Dam ou Dum Dum

Look, here comes Michèle, she’s been hanging out with that peculiarly monikered gang Ses Wouaps.

She’s got a sweet spot for her Wouaps, with their preppy, geek charm and their twangy guitars, and they love her for that spooky operatic wail of hers. Together they made a record with a nonsensical title and a sinister undertone, the kind of thing Joe Meek liked to knock out in his Holloway Road bolthole - the vampiric Moontrekkers making a horrorshow din, and a peroxide beehived gal on lead vocal.

Are the lyrics littered with references to bloody carnage and death? Not to these ears, but it would certainly sit moodily alongside any death disc. All drenched in reverb, it gives me those same goosebumps I get when I hear Johnny Remember Me by John Leyton and Give Us Your Blessings by The Shangri-Las.

Michèle et Ses Wouaps – Dam Dam

Jina Miko’s got the bubblegum pop thing down pat – the cute untrained voice; the odd nagging telephone ringing in your eardrum sound; the little ‘woop’ before the Lipstick On Your Collar-esque guitar solo comes in; and a production so hot and distorted it sounds like the tape was melting when they laid it down...

But the best thing is it sounds like she’s saying “Dom Dom” rather than “Dum Dum”, and I’m a sucker for any French girl who calls my name…

Jina Miko – Dum Dum