Monday, 23 March 2009


When I was little, after being stung by one-too-many wasps, I attempted to justify their existence to myself:

"Wasps are like bees," I thought, "they're yellow and black and they fly around, and if you anger them they will both sting you. But bees make honey, and honey is nice and sweet. What is the purpose of wasps? If bees make honey, then maybe wasps make... Jam!"

That's some pretty deep thinking for a five year old. Yes, I convinced myself that God invented wasps to make jam. I'm not sure if different wasp nests made different flavours. And maybe hornets were responsible for marmalade production.

Look, photographic proof!

One of the best things I got for Christmas was this tres cool present that Verity made for me. It is a cushion replica of an EDP Wasp synthesizer (a "soft-synth", if you will)

Copyright Verity Clarkson 2008
[EDP Wasp Soft Synth cushion © Verity Clarkson 2008]
Copyright Verity Clarkson 2008

It's a curious synth, the Wasp, with that distinctive (cheap plastic) black and yellow shell. It has one of those touch-sensitive keyboards where your finger completes the circuit and the DCOs spring to life. If you're a bit of a pyromaniac, you could squirt lighter fluid along the keyboard and set fire to it for a rapid upwards arpeggio action (Ann Shenton told us that).

Uh Oh, that high-pitched sonic whine is filling me with dread. Look there, at the bottom of the garden, a black and yellow swarm gathering from the trees. BUZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Millions of evil black eyes, and every pair is fixed on us. BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. And that's one mighty looking King Wasp heading the deadly swarm, he's got evil intentions and he's spreading them to his army via collective consciousness. BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Eeek! Run for cover...

Add N To (X) - King Wasp
[buy Add N To (X): iTunes | Mute | Amazon]

And now, a tangent.
Recently, on British TV, they've been showing an Oral B advert, and the music is bizarrely reminiscent of King Wasp. Watch and listen.

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